Craigslist ad for Seattle dog walker goes viral

by Bronwyn Hall

A Craigslist advert by a dog walker looking for work in Seattle has gone viral.

Craigslist

Craigslist

The intro for the hilarious ad reads:

‘HEY RICH-ASS DOG OWNERS: Are you at the office 23 hours a day in a coke-fuelled effort to squeeze every last penny out of your 20’s and 30’s? Are you going out of town with your post-divorce trophy-girlfriend to visit your slave ship collection in the Barbados? Do you work for a corporation that received Tarp money?

I AM YOUR DOG WALKER

I am the most radical, bitching, mind blowing dog-walking experience in all of Seattle. All dogs are STOKED when I’m around, regardless of breed or sex.’

And if that doesn’t sway prospective employers, the author of the advert also outlines his experience in the dog walking industry:

‘Do I have experience walking dogs? I’m a human being, of course I have experience walking dogs. This isn’t linear algebra, folks; it’s dog walking.’

Oh and this guy totally knows who his target audience are and how to appeal to them:

‘Are you one of those prototypical American success stories who worked your way up from nothing to live the dream, and now you want to gloat over an Ivy League grad who has been reduced to posting a dog-walking advert on skeezy-ass Craiglist?

You can shadow me while I walk!  Take pictures of my pathetic face as I handle your dog’s feces with nothing but a plastic bag over my hand! I’ll wear my Princeton letterman’s sweater! I might even cry!’

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BlogSpot

If you still need to be convinced, you can rest assured that the poster offers a wealth of services:

‘I will sleep in your sweet-ass apartment and tend to your dog while doing it. Don’t want my poor-person skin sullying your ostrich-feather sheets? I’ll sleep on the floor! Don’t want my poor-person hair secreting oils all over the pearl-white tiles? I’ll sleep in the crate with the dog!’

Sadly, even though the author of the post has received a plethora of responses, the post was a fake and the advert has now been removed.

 

 

 

 

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